Well, America, we’re finally there. We’ve finally arrived.
It’s happened.
I’m a little embarrassed to say ours boys down in Research and Development here at UnlimitedLicense couldn’t get this accomplished first…but thankfully, the miracles of modern medicine found a way, and the pharmaceutical company Allergan – which previously brought us Botox – got the job done.
After years of waiting – and I can tell you, this has been keeping me up at nights – we finally have prescription medication – PRESCRIPTION medication -- that will grow longer eyelashes.
It’s true. I can hardly believe it, as I’ve waited decades for someone to come along who could solve this problem. Never again will anyone suffering from hypotrichosis (no, I’m not making that up – it actually is a valid medical diagnosis) have to suffer through the embarrassing agony of wishing for slightly longer, thicker eyelash hair.
Who goes to their doctor for this? Who is actually so embarrassed about the length and thickness of their eyelashes that they’re asking a medical doctor if there’s any medication available that will grow longer hair on their eyelids?
And what doctor is on board with prescribing this stuff???
I’d make the suggestion that if you’re that embarrassed about your eyelashes, you may have something more than a medical problem, and perhaps instead of looking to the pharmaceutical industry for help with this problem, it might be time to seek a solution elsewhere…
And of course, EVERY medication has its side effects. Most of those listed for “Latisse” – the trademark label for the drug bimatoprost – are predictable: redness of the eyes, irritation and
itchiness.
But then there’s this, from the Latisse.com website frequently asked questions:
*** “What is skin hyperpigmentation?” This is a common, usually harmless condition in which areas of skin become darker than the surrounding skin color. This occurs when there is an increase in the melanin, the brown pigment that produces normal skin color, in the skin. Skin hyperpigmentation is a possible side effect of LATISSE™, but may be reversible after discontinuation of the product.
Um, ‘may’ be reversible? Just how reversible are we talking, here? I don't know if I --
***“What is elevated intraocular pressure (IOP)? This is a condition where the pressure inside the eye is higher than normal. LATISSE™ may decrease IOP. So talk to your doctor if you are using IOP-lowering medications. Concurrent administration of LATISSE™ and certain IOP-lowering medications in ocular hypertensive patients should be closely monitored for changes in intraocular pressure.
Err…how do I monitor THAT? Is there a --
***”Why do the directions say to only apply LATISSE™ solution to the base of the upper eyelashes?”
Right, rather than the actual eye itself -- I’ll field this question, Steve. Because who would want hairy eyeballs???
Latisse may not be right for you. Ask your doctor.
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This reminds me of "seedless watermelon. seedless. Sure we could find a cure for cancer or aids, but i've chosen to focus on melon". Sure they could have looked at other more important things, but they've chosen to focus on something more crucial: eyelashes.
ReplyDeleteHere's to majoring on the minors baby.
About 10 years ago there was a comercial for some sort of mood enhancer (think Prozac) which was designed to specifically treat "Social Anxiety Disorder". The side effects read like an unabridged list of bad things that become horrible things in social situations. Dry mouth, Itchy, watery eyes, halitosis, dry scalp, body odor, and -of course- anal leakage.
ReplyDeleteHey - Don't be down on seedles watermelon! That is brilliant. If anyone has a choice between watermelon with seeds or without, who says "Hey, I'll take seeds!"
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